Our Relationship Expert and Dating Coach, Sarah Louise Ryan explains 3 key reasons why you should always have a second date if you leave the first date feeling unsure or in any doubt of what to do next.
Sarah says “it can often be the case that if singles today don’t feel all in from the get-go then they choose to move forward with a ‘next please’ mentality. The best and strongest relationships take work, patience and persistence and so if we require that same ethos to dating and be fully present with each and every person we meet romantically we might be more inclined to give each person a second date where new and exciting things might show up in conversation and connection that didn’t perhaps do so on the first date”.
First dates can tend to be nerve-wracking and whilst we want to show up as our best selves it doesn’t always work out that way due to nerves, sometimes on both sides of the table, taking over. After a first date we can be left with an unclear view of how future dates might look if we focus too much on that perfect first meet. Nerves can be a good thing, they are a sign that the person you are on a date with cares about how it goes and what you might think, it’s an authentic showing of vulnerabilty which can be quite a powerful thing.
#2 Connection & Communication
On a first date the real focus should just be on if you two get along and if you are interested in each other, even if your personal interests differ. The reason I say this is that sometimes people get caught up in the idea of needing to have the same interests to be compatible and this isn’t quite accurate. It’s important to have similar values and be on similar pages about beliefs and how you both separately and together can show up in the world. Even if the conversation didn’t run so smoothly on the first date, chances are on a second date you will feel more comfortable and if the connection is there, communication will run smoother than before.
After a Second date you’ll be in better stead to gauge the levels of chemistry. If you feel excited, giddy and maybe even a little bit anxious about when you will hear from them again or when your next date or contact will be, this is a sign you truly might like them. After a second date you might feel like you have a bigger picture of the person and also as potential partner, and so if you do like them you might also at this stage feel like you want to be more tactile such as hand-holding, lip-locking stage which is completely normal and natural.
However, taking all the above into consideration, if after a second date you aren’t feeling compatible or like you could be on the same page romantically or in life in the future at least you were fully present and patient and gave this person a second date, which is really important. Sometimes love can be a slow burner and it’s better to have given each person the best chance to determine compatibility then to let potential partners pass you by due to the impatience that can grow from modern world of meeting.
Contact Old Style Dating for your free telephone consultation with Dating & Relationship Expert Sarah Louise Ryan.
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