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Dear Sarah,
Will I be able to find love again after I’ve lost my partner. I am a widow?
– Anne in Hampshire

Dear Anne,

Thank you so much for your question. Of course, finding love again after loss is absolutely possible. This is a topic of conversation which is, rightly so, quite sensitive to address for many who have experienced a loss.

First and foremost, it’s important for you to acknowledge that the proof is in the pudding. What I mean by that is that you have loved before and you will no doubt love again in time. How you approach dating and re-entering the search for that certain someone. I’ve got a few pointers which I think might help steer you in the right direction then you’re feeling ready to welcome someone new into your life. Without further ado, here’s 3 steps to starting dating again either online or offline to find a loving relationship:

#1 Do not start before you feel ready. When you lose someone you love there can be lots of mixed emotions going on as you move through it all. You want to ensure you’re ready to welcome someone new for all the right reasons, especially as dating again can seem ever so daunting.

Check that you’ve had enough time to heal and welcome this new chapter in a space of acceptance. You want to avoid filling a void or looking for a companion to fill time and space, make sure you feel fulfilled, happy and acceptant of the next phase of your life. At this point you will be more ready to start a new romance.

#2 Be aware of analysis paralysis. There’s every chance you might find yourself comparing your previous partner to new potential partners. You were in love and chose that person for a reason, chances are you may not have expected to have a time in your life without them.

You may find yourself comparing new people to the person you loved for such a long time as a widow. Be prepared for this to happen, it’s only natural but whilst you’ll be conscious of it you must try to shift to the present and see the new romantic opportunities in front of you for what they are.

#3 Be open-minded and open-hearted. When we experience trauma of loss in our lives it can sometimes become second nature to try and protect ourselves from further hurt and pain. Be conscious of this when you are meeting matches and keep your heart open. Be mindful your are opening your mind to new potentials and heart, you can love again, as you have loved before.

Starting the journey to finding love again can be a positive one when you figure out who it is you would like to meet and also being mindful of the kinds of dating sites and platforms they might be using. Do your research, dating has changed, it’s not quite how it used to be and you’ll make meeting like-minded matches easier for yourself if you are selective about which dating sites or matchmakers they might be using to meet people just like you.

If you need me for any more dating advice or coaching sessions as you pave the way to partnering between my agony aunt column for Old Style Dating, you can catch me over at www.lovelessonsglobal.com – I’m always happy to help singles navigate the search for love again, however it looks.

XX
Sarah,
Relationship Expert
Love Lessons

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