Do you find yourself wondering why you’re sending out messages and not getting replies when online dating? Do you want to know the secret to creating connection with a total stranger online to see if there’s any potential chemistry? Of course you do and we know why too. Modern dating platforms can often feel like singles are sinking in a sea of messages, likes and swipes without creating significant conversations with potential significant others.
We’re a dating site in the UK that cares about how singles navigate the search for love. We have never intended to allow singles to just sign up and hope to just ‘click’ with each other. That’s why our founder and online dating expert, Dennie Smith, recently put together a guide to online dating so you can overcome the dilemmas that may present themselves & start dating sooner.
Further to that, we think it’s important that you have the tools in your box to convert your messages into great conversations and hopefully into even greater dates. So here are our top 3 tips on increasing your online dating connection through messages:
#1 Don’t talk about dating
It might seem like a straightforward task but people who meet online and send a message for the first time often resort to building a space of connection through commonality. Initially the one thing that two people conversing online have in common is the dating space – you are both in it, you are both navigating it and you’re both looking to meet someone like-minded in it.
However, it doesn’t mean you need to mention it. Dating, as with anything comes with the good, the bad and the ugly but you don’t need to share your experiences not now or ever perhaps. The best thing you can do is talk about something you spotted in their online dating profile, ask a question or two, even in the initial message where they haven’t yet responded and keep it both light and fun.
Whilst you don’t need to flower your messages with rainbows and emojis, you must remember that the process to meeting someone either on or offline should be positive and it can be just that if you create it as such.
#2 Know that some doors just aren’t yours to open
When you send a message you may press send with all the good intentions in the world, with your positive pants on and also really feeling connected to the profile of the person which you have sent it to.
You may have read all the dating books, listened to dating expert advice videos or podcasts and you know what? You may still not get a response. This is not your fault, it also doesn’t mean the dating advice you have been given was incorrect. What it does mean is that this person wasn’t your person and this wasn’t your door to open.
They may just have not connected with your message, maybe they haven’t quite found the right words to respond, maybe they haven’t seen it yet or are currently not using the platform as we are living in surreal and uncertain times in 2020. Don’t assume it’s you, don’t take it inward. Instead take a deep breath, let it go and accept it wasn’t your romantic door to open.
#3 Don’t give up
You know the saying “when you feel like giving up, remember why you started?” Well, do just that. Think of all the greatest inventions or companies in the world that wouldn’t be here without people who took a risk and a leap of faith.
Your dating life is just the same, you need to keep taking a leap of faith and remember there is hope for love yet. Love success is on the other side of all those hurdles that are put in your dating path. Keep jumping over them, keep learning lessons about yourself and what you want in love and remember why you started on this dating journey in the first place.
Finally, remember they call it dating for a reason not “date”. The likelihood is that you will get to the actual dates, past all those messages and have numerous of those before you find the right person. It might take weeks or months and for some perhaps longer but whatever is meant for you, your love life will not pass you by.
Our dating and relationship experts Sarah Louise Ryan and James Preece will be glad to assist you in the Old Style online dating journey with Dennie Smith, our online dating expert & founder, in the driving seat helping you make love happen.
If you’re ready for love and ready to connect online – start dating today. Sign up.
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